the one time, never-happen-again pledge drive
Sure, I made light of Andrew Sullivan's Pledge Drive. Who's laughing now? Not me.
Sullivan pulled in almost $80,000 in tips and donations during his drive. That's right, 80k.
I offered to stage a pledge week featuring all female blogger sex and jello wrestling.
I offered to double my efforts and post twice as much. I got bad songs stuck in your head. I gave you horrid decorations to look at.
The thing is, I didn't have a tip jar or a donation button. Oh, but I do now. You can see it over in the sidebar.
If elected tipped, I promise to be even more humorous, more outrageous and more vitriolic.
No, that doesn't sound right. It sounds as if I have been holding back on you. Which it's painfully obvious I have not been doing.
I can do tricks. You would be amazed at the things I can do with my tongue. I can have DJ entertain you. You should see him channel Dean Martin when he sings Jingle Bells. I could invite you over and have Natalie make her famous strawberry cream dessert or have Justin serve you his famous steak au poivre.
Or I can just continue writing here, which I will do with or without tips. So this isn't really a pledge drive, as I'm not pulling one of those PBS stunts and yelling to the kids that Barney will go the way of extinction if their mommies don't open their wallets right now.
Nah, I will always be here, spewing and ranting and (hopefully) making you laugh. I'm just saying. If Andrew Sullivan can make $80k in two weeks and he doesn't even show any cleavage, maybe I can pull in enough money in two weeks to buy a bottle of tequila so I can do some weekend drunken blogging.
And you do realize that most of this post is here because I have pretty much nothing else to say this morning? I need to wrap four presents, bake rice kripsie treats and pick up donuts for class parties and drop them all off at two different schools before I get to work.
I'm real good at procrastination. If only I could get paid for that...
I feel so dirty now.
I will not ever, ever, ever mention the tip jar again.
update: I just realized there are some people who would much rather hit me than tip me. I working on a hit jar, so you can virtually punch me every time I piss you off.
I'm nothing if not fair.
Comments
You expect us to listen to your crap AND pay you for it? What do you think we are? Masochists?
Of course, if given a choice between spending my hard earned cash on seeing you do tongue tricks and listening to Andrew Sullivan.... well, I'm not completely stupid...
Can you tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue? That's how my lovely wife showed me she was interested... heh, heh.. (Good thing she doesn't read this. Oh, crap...now I gotta pay you blackmail money, don't I? I hate you.)
Posted by: Solonor | December 20, 2002 07:10 AM
You know, Solly, my day just wouldn't be complete if I didn't at least once say to you..
BITE ME!
I think you know where :)
Posted by: michele | December 20, 2002 07:19 AM
Umm...how 'bout a "Bite me! You know where..." jar? Deal me in on that one. Ahem.
Posted by: Mike | December 20, 2002 07:25 AM
You know, cleavage will get you just about anything. Honestly, you'd think we bloggers never got laid.
Posted by: Statia | December 20, 2002 08:33 AM
I'm guessing that 'fully refundable' doesn't mean that if I give you money some nice person at Amazon will give it all back to me, right?
Posted by: Matt | December 20, 2002 08:43 AM
Fully refundable means that if I fail to amuse, entertain or inform you at any time, I will personally see to it that I'll send you an I.O.U.
Posted by: michele | December 20, 2002 08:58 AM
Actually, the Amazon donations are refundable for up to 30 days - which is why I would rather use the PayPal one (unless they have the same policy).
I dread the day when some kind soul leaves $60,000 in my tip jar (not that I have one) and then I go out and buy a Dodge Viper, only to find they've gotten their money back! The cheek of them!
Posted by: andy | December 20, 2002 09:34 AM
Perhaps if you charged a buck a hit in your hit jar, you could pass A.S.[S.] up in donation amounts.
Posted by: wKen | December 20, 2002 11:04 AM
You 'bake' rice krispy treats?
Posted by: Suze | December 20, 2002 05:04 PM
OK, I guess I gotta hit the tip jar now....(me and my big mouth)
Posted by: Suze | December 20, 2002 05:07 PM
what a prick. his content sucks ass to boot.
Posted by: shawn | December 20, 2002 07:28 PM
How many IRS agents read Sullivan's blog and have noted his 1040 for audit, ya think?
Posted by: Linkmeister | December 20, 2002 09:19 PM