« sick of it all | Main | vive le france »

too much information

I needed to drag my ass of the couch to break in with this announcement:

My daughter Natalie is now...a woman. To put it politely.

This news has done all kinds of weird things to my brain, the most prominent being that I suddenly feel very, very old.


Back to the couch.

Comments

Mazal Tov!!!! Wonderful news :)

yayyy!!

I only hope she doesn't know you announced this to the world. ;-)

But seriously, though, congrats. Of course, now welcome to life with a teenager with PMS. :-D

Well, you had a feeling it was coming soon!!! Congrats (I think!) and a tequilla shot on me if I ever get over feeling like shit!!

Don't say Tequila. And I won't be in tomorrow. Not feeling all that great myself. Kiss PJ for me.

Sincere congrats to Natalie! (But isn't this a rather trashy celebration, and am I not an unindicted co-conspirator, so to speak?)

TMI TMI TMI hehehehe

Well, that's good news and bad news.

Guess you'll have to share your chocolate with her once a month now, eh?

She is going to kill you if she finds out you blogged this!

Yay for ....um....er....womanhood.

My daughter Natalie is now...a woman. To put it politely.

Consider yourself lucky. Imagine how you would have reacted if you had to deal with the same sort of weirdness that Seth Brundle's parents had to deal with...

'Um, yeah. Hi mom and dad. Got a really weird announcement to make'

'What's that dear?'

'Well, I'm going through some changes in my life right now...'

'It's alright dear. You can tell us. Just let it out. Honestly. I mean, are you feeling down? Are you gay? Are you feeling the effects of a midlife crisis?'

'Well, um, no. Sounds weird, I know, but I spliced my DNA with that of a common-and-garden fly, and, well, we might have to put newspaper down this thanksgiving. Cos, well, fly vomit never really comes out of the tablecloths, does it?'

Um, yes. I know it's an obscure link. She won't be vomiting everywhere for at least another few years (what is the legal drinking age there? 21?).

Ooooooh. Crap. Arrived straight out of left field and spoilt it all with a really obvious cliched joke. Dumbass. I should really learn not to get involved in conversations with people. There's a gulf there. And it ain't small, bubba...

Ok, well at least you know right out. When I got mine, I was 10 years old, and thought I was too young to get it, so I thought I had done something wrong. I didn't want to tell my mom, so I went to the drug store on my bike, bought pantyliers and SUPER sized tampons (the kind mom used!!) and took them home. Strangely enough, it all just didn't work out and I ended up having to tell her anyway.

I always thought it would be cool to "celebrate" when my daughter got hers. Is that cheezy?

I don't think it's cheesy. My dad took me out for dinner.

I still haven't figured out what all the excitement is about. My mom was all "yay!!! congratulations!!!" Congratulations for what? Arriving at a stage in life where you will be raging hormonal bitch in pain for an entire week every month? Pfft. I think proper sentiment would be "I'm sorry".

Damn that was pessimistic. Anytime you need me to spoil a party, you know where to find me :)

That is the proper sentiment, Theresa.

Unfortunately, Natalie appears to have been born with PMS and will most likely keep on with this mood for her entire life, her menstrual cycle notwithstanding.

OMG -- I had a total Sixteen Candles "Fran, she's gotten her boobies. Oh, and they are so perky!" moment there. ;-) Poor Justin and DJ... Two women now. Duck and cover drills are in order.

I am going in tomorrow. I will get more rest coughing up my lungs at my desk then dealing with Jay "watching PJ so I can rest". Apparently, it is ok for me to cook dinner, do EVERYTHING that PJ needs, go grocery shopping, go look at new cars, all the while shivering, coughing, fevering, and experiencing all of the general ailments of feeling like shit.

This thread reminds me of a remark a buddy of mine made regarding living with his wife and two daughters. He compared it to a hockey game and when I asked him why, he said, "Three periods and constant fighting!"
Best wishes to you and the family!

I think my daughter's martial arts demo with the tampax nunchakus this morning must have been an omen.

Just be grateful that technology has somewhat caught up with womens' health. When we were teens, they still had pads held up with elastic belts with the fasteners! Eee ghads. And this was after, mind you, men had landed on the moon.

You would think they would have come up with "Stay Free" before "Tang." But noooooo.

I am reminded of a wonderful story by Connie Willis, the much-honored science fiction writer. When she got tired of being asked why she never wrote about women's issues, she wrote "Even the Queen" -- it's about THE women's issue.

IIRC it's in her short-story collection Impossible Things. It's worth the search.

please God, let me NEVER have a baby girl. and if i do, cant i just skip the ages of 12 to say, oh, 35?

Congrats to Natalie.

My mom took me out to celebrate when my "big day" happened. Maybe it's an attempt to say, "Sorry this really horrible thing is about to happen to you every month, but hey have a nice dinner out!"

Does anybody else remember the girls that didn't have theirs yet complaining about it? I got mine kinda early and I always wanted to smack them. They WANTED theirs?!?!?! They could have mine!

Anyway, congrats to the new woman of the house.

I loved Even The Queen! It rocked. Connie Willis rocked my world--I was fifteen or sixteen when I first read that.

Here's a link to it, if anyone wants to read it.

http://www.asimovs.com/_issue_0112/eventhequeen.html

If I were Natalie, I'd kill you for this humiliation. :0)

hee hee... actually, I've threatened at least two kids with such announcements.

Well, seriously.. congratulations.

AND THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT??? GEEZ.

Michele, you never tell us ANYTHING.

mother-daughter PMS rocks!!

NOT. NOT. NOT.

this month i found her in the closet crying. oy. then she gets her period, goes to her daddy's and is cheerful as a little bug. not fair.

BTW - we called it 'the bloody blossoming of womanhood'... gruesomely romantic, dotcha think?

What memories...that seem so long behind me now. My daughter is 24 with a girl of her own now...and I'm only 42 dammit!

"This news has done all kinds of weird things to my brain, the most prominent being that I suddenly feel very, very old."

No, no, no! We're not old. We're young with years of experience!

Reminds me of when my oldest daughter "Became a Woman". Mom is in bed, I'm working on the computer. Daughter comes over and says

"I need to talk to mom"

"She's asleep honey, what do you need" I reply.

"I need to talk to mom"

"Hun, I told you, she's asleep. What to you need?" I ask.

"I need to talk to mom"

"Jeez, for the last time, WHAT IS IT?"

"I started my period" She replies.

"Go wake up your mother"

did you ever think that since Nat has been a bitch all her life, that this will lighten her up a bit? Nah, never mind. Ya know that apple, never far from the tree!!! You should see if dad still has that sign to hang up "Beware, its that time of the month!"

Well, here's a little gem that no one warned me about:

I'm 42 and my daughter is 15. She's probably at or near the peak of her fertility, and my peak is long past. (I devoutly hope.) So it stands to reason that her pheromones are much stronger than mine. This is borne out by the fact that not only do I have PMS for my periods, I HAVE IT FOR HERS TOO.

Ooooooh, this was all about PERIODS???

Eeeeeew.