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someone saved my life last night

I had a very sobering dream last night.

I was in a stark white room, presumably a hospital. I was strapped down to a bed and there were all kinds of wires and tubes snaking around the bed and into my body. I heard the beep and the whirr of some kind of machinery, but I couldn't see because my sight was focused on the ceiling. I could not move my eyes.

There was a round mirror on the ceiling and in that surface I saw myself. Thinned out to startling proportions. Only a few wisps of hair. My skin was a pasty, deathly shade of gray.

The beeping sound became monotone. One long, shrill beep. The whirr of the machinery stopped.

I looked down at myself, having risen in some form above the bed. And there I saw DJ and Natalie, kneeling next to my death bed, crying. And then DJ said "I told her to stop smoking. Why didn't she listen to me?"

I forced myself to wake up at that point.

I am never buying another pack of cigarettes. I am done.


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» Sweet dreams aren't made of this from Inoperable Terran
Michele had a dream. And it's one I'm sure her kids will appreciate. [Read More]


Brava! I quit for good about 3 months ago. It's the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Hey! Good Luck!! You can do it! I used to smoke a bit and quit when I was going to have kids. I would still like to smoke, but I keep reminding myself that I'm "doing it for the children"

Well, that should do it then!! Jay has been doing great and without you and him smoking I am done too!! I'll help you if you help me......

Good for you! I quit smoking (3 packs a day) 10 years ago this month. It's tough, but stick with it.

Go for it!!!!!!.....I'm one month free and found the lozenges (Commit) to be a great help because of the event control and the oral administration.

Mark Twain said that it was easy to quit smoking; he'd done it hundreds of times himself.

I know how hard it can be to quit, though. My mother never did, and it may have helped kill her. My next-door neighbor keeps quitting for a up to a month at a time, but can't make it last. I quit 20 years ago or so, but I smoked mostly pipes and cigars, so I won't pretend it was that hard for me to give it up.

I hope you make it. You've certainly got my support and best wishes.

The very next cigarette you smoke will be the one that's going to kill you. If you don't smoke that one, you'll be fine.

There is no such thing as 'just one more'. You're either a smoker, or you are not. Non-smokers don't bitch about wanting a cigarette, or sneak an occasional one at special times. They just don't smoke.

good luck!! :-)

I quit 40 days ago - for the umpteenth time. I hope this time sticks. I have had about 5 in those 40 days. Not bad as I was at 2 packs per day. What can I say - Montana is boring!

I have had many reasons to quit over the years. One time when my now nearly 17 year old was 5 he asked me, "Mommy, Why do they make ciggarettes?" To which I replied, "I don't know honey." Then he said, "I think it's cuz they don't want little boys to have Moms."

yeah, it still took me this long and so many attempts to quit.

I can't speak from experience here as I never did smoke. (Other than the occasional cigar when I had too much to drink). But some of my friends who smoke all say the same thing. No one ever quits smoking - they're just between cigarettes. Granted, one friend had been 22 years between cigarettes, but still feared the next one as you seem to in this post.

Whew! Praise God! You don't really think that dream came outta nowhere, did ya? :) I smoked three packs a day for about 20 years (I'm only 30, ayup, started a lot of things young!). I quit.....ten months ago. For some reason, I developed quite the addiction to hot lemon, or green, tea as a substitute. Have no idea why. I started exercising, because for once I actually could without wheezing and dropping to the ground, and started to enjoy all the things I couldn't do before. Like running. Cycling. Lifting weights. Smelling nice. Breathing. Small things like taking the stairs and not getting winded. Not to mention increased sexual endurance? :)

Take advantage of the fact that your hubbie is young!

On that note..........congratulations and enjoy. I know you're athiest, but I'll pray for ya anyways, quitting smoking is both the hardest, and the best, thing anyone can do for their health.

My grandmother used to smoke a long time ago. she had a dream where she went to get her pack of smokes and there was a little bible in there instead. she quit that day and hasn't smoked since. I'm not a Christian, but I do know that faith is important. If you believe that you had that dream for a reason, then you'll be successful at quitting. Good luck!!

Whoah... what a dream.
Good luck, Michele!

I made 13 days my last try, Dec. '02. Whether you want me to or not, I'll pray for you. Check your Dr about Wellbutrin/Zyban. It eliminates the craving.

Good luck to you! Someone very close to me went through a very similar experience (except it wasn't a dream in her case), and she just said, "Never again." Quit cold turkey.

Best wishes and good luck to you!

YOU GO, GIRL!! I'll be pulling for you, in my own bleeding-heart liberal kind of way.... ;p

My Mom smoked for 32 years, quit cold turkey the day my kids showed some hesitation before hugging her. When she asked why, the littlest one (aged 6) said, "because you're stinky, Mom-Mom, you smell like smoke".
That day she smoked her last cigarette and never regretted it for a second. She also got lots more hugs and kisses from the grandkids.
Hang in there, Michele....it sounds as if you've reached that 'last cigarette' point, too.

That's such a frightening dream. I wish you much luck and send you much love.

good luck girl..maybe i should try quittin too..that dream is kinda freaky

We'll be pulling for you Michele...I can't even imagine how hard it is to quit.

But I do know how awful it is to watch someone die from emphysema and COPD - it took a good five years to kill my grandfather after he was diagnosed, and it was AWFUL. It has definitely cured all of his children and grandchildren of ANY desire to smoke forever. Now if I could just get Dominik to quit...

You know, chewing tobbaco has to be cheaper than that nicotine gum. Gotta better buzz too. Of course I'm not trying to quit anything

When I was very young, I had a dream about having a tracheotomy, and to this day, I can still remember what it felt like to breathe through that hole in my neck. I never did take up smoking--for many reasons naturally, but that dream was very freaky for me.

Anyways, good luck in your quest to quit. It's gonna be tough but you can do it if you really want to.

You can do it Michele, I quit cold turkey twenty years ago. It wasn't easy without nicotine replacement, but I made it.

My Mom tried and failed. I held her in my arms when she died two years ago ravaged by lung cancer. Such a waste, gone too soon.

Do it Girl, you're strong. Your teeth will be whiter too.

I will be checking in to read your posts about your success!
I wish my DH would have such a dream. He turned 45 yesterday. I know in my heart that we will not grow old together. Those damn cigarettes are going to take him from me and there is nothing I can do to stop it!
I am proud that you are even seriously considering smoking cessation. Every one that you do not have is a gift to all who love you!

What an intense and horrible dream. Good for you for heeding it. I quit in September and am glad that I did. It's not easy but you're a tough chick, right? You can do it. Godspeed, Michele. ps - Zyban helps some people a lot.

Good luck to you. Hang in there I have less willpower than anybody else in the world and I quit, so you can too. Use some of the money you save from not buying tobacco to get yourself some little treats now and then.

Where's the debate, the balance, in these comments? I feel like I'm at an anti-cancer, anti-death pep-rally or something! So let me provide some balance that is sadly lacking.

What you had was just a simple nightmare. Take a big shot of whiskey and get over it. It's a test of your courage, your resolve, your ability to stare death in the face, and laugh at it! Light up, and damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

OK, the test is scored on the brave vs. stupid index, and with this theory I can't reconcile French battlefield performance with their smoking rates. There may be a flaw in my logic.

Anyway, who's gonna pay those taxes you'll be forgoing? Who will fund health care? You're putting kids eductation at risk (your lung surgeon's, respiratory therapist's, and undertaker's)! Watch those old WWII movies of our brave soldiers, and I think you'll note that cigarettes are actually an important form of first aid.

What about social justice? We take a whole continent from the Indians, and you won't smoke their little plant? How are they supposed to get even with us? Whatever happened to Karmic retribution? You're just trying to get away with this foul deed without paying the price by coughing up gobits of lung. This is not justice.

You may have to get back on the patch. Start with the low-dose, and work your way back up to normal levels, so you can once again inhale a pack of Camel non-filters. So what if kids won't want to hug you, nor people kiss you. That just means they don't really love you! You think they'll be there when your all hung over, wheezing and coughing, with papery gray skin, and a couple of yellow teeth? I thought not. But those happy little smokes will be there for you. They'll never let you down. Remember, smoking can stay with you forever (It's NOT addictive!), but love, joy, and life all fade away, because they're ephemeral.

And yes, in case you're wondering, Marlboros do cost $3.00 friggin bucks in the Phillip-Morris employee cafeteria. That just blows.

And no, I don't work for them. Being their largest single customer, I just saved transportation costs by moving closer to their manufacturing plant. I wouldn't work for Tobacco executives. They're to wishy-washy on this issue.

Yes, I am pro-death. Anti-smoking undertakers who show people the results, and warn others about the risks, just find themselves unknowingly riding around with one of my special "Necrophilia is a Victimless Crime" bumper stickers. Well, enough said, so I'll light up and go back to I_AM_DEATH-EMBRACE_ME.com. You all can go back to thinking about sunshine and puppies or something.

All it takes is a good reason. I myself quit smoking the day my son was born. It'll be a year on the 21st and I havn't touched one since.

Good luck with quitting. Four years ago I quit smoking myself -- the patch worked wonders. It separated the nicotine addiction in my mind away from cigarettes and toward the patch.

After a day or two, I could care less about cigarettes. But boy, did I ever like my new best friend the Patch. I've never really felt the same about cigarettes ... there's no real craving when others are smoking, nothing.

Anyway, that was my experience. I wish you all the best quitting.

yeah, uh huh, heard that one before. dont take you seriously on this subject anymore. sorry.

George... you kill me... I'm cleaning clam chowder off the monitor.

note from the editor:

Larry, next time you leave a really long one run on word comment and it fucks up my sidebar, I will personally see to it that your balls shrivel up inside your pants.

Thank you,
Your friend webmaster who really likes you but wants to kill you right now.

Just bumping Larry's comment off your front page, Michele. His comment was a one big word that expanded your sidebar so that it covered up part of your blog entries, on my browser anyhow, IE 5.5. Sorry Larry.

Did someone forget to lock the door out at the looney bin or what? The Blogoverse seems to awash in troll spittle today.

Good luck Michele. I quit cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant. It's been 7 years now and I will never ever smoke again. I wish my DH would quit ::sigh::

I quit 3 years ago after smoking for many years.

I'm glad I did it because my taste buds and nose started working again. Before that, I never realized that the "real" bull crap I put on my lawn each Spring stinks up the entire neighborhood.

Good luck, Michele. It took me twenty years to quit.

Can't resist....
Get yourself a pack of Chewlys Gum...

Fifteen Years ago I quit,
It was about the hundredth time I attempted it, but this time I didn't weaken.
I won't lie to you... it was hell for the first 12 months.
Then after that it was easier.

Sometimes, even after 15 years, it still occurs to me that I might like to try it again,
but I know I never will.
I would never dare take a chance with another cigarette, in case it hooks me again.

No matter how badly hooked you are, it is possible to give up if the determination is there.
And if you really really stick to it.

My mom smoked just a cigarette or two for 30 years until she got throat cancer and had to have a laryngectomy. She quit cold turkey.

Some people don't quit even then.

May your dream help focus your resolve.