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May 06, 2000

Open Mic Night: Maggie

  • I'm a bleeding-heart Liberal living in the Appalachian (we say, "App-a-LATCH-un") mountains of southwestern Virginia. I grow bleeding-hearts and other flowers, along with various herbs and weeds, in my garden.
  • I could be a successful vegetarian if it weren't for bacon and beef stock.
  • Yodeling gives me that 'fingernails screeching across the blackboard' reaction.
  • Having lived close by the Appalachian Trail most of my life, I've open my home to an array of disheveled but ever delightful travelers; Israeli, South African, Australian, English, French Canadian, Mormon, Muslim, Catholic, Agnostic, Wiccan, Hedon, old, young, fresh from the military, fresh out of university, couples, families, merry bands of strangers who bond along the way.
  • My cat, Bob, attacks me like Cato attacks Clouseau.
p.s. This is my first time playing with MT. I hope I don't break A Small Victory. Thanks for the chance to see some of the backend.

Open Mic Night Guest: Aaron in Texas

My 5 things you never knew about me: 1) In my spare time I use a trained hawk, captured from the wild, to chase and kill bunnies. This experience is the highlight of my life. For more background, check out my blog, HawkBlog. 2) My truck smells like hawk droppings, and my arm currently has 4 puncture wounds from its talons. 3) This bird and my obsession with hunting it cost me a girlfriend. Go figure. 4) I work in finance for a Fortune 500 company, performing economic analysis of investments in the billions of dollars, yet I seem to be incapable of balancing my own checkbook. 5) I'm too stupid or boring (or both) to think of 5 things at all unique about me, so I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Open Mic Night Guest: Karol

1. I'm a huge Guns N Roses fan. I also really love 50 Cent. My indie-rock loving boyfriend thought I'd be listening to a lot better stuff and thinks he was tricked into dating me.
2. Vincent Gallo is the only celebrity I'm at all interested in.
3. I'm Russian but look Irish and have an Irish last name. I'm obsessed with Scotland, which makes the whole looking Irish thing all the more confusing.
4. I think Brooklyn (and I mean South Brooklyn, not fake-almost-Manhattan Brooklyn) is the perfect place to raise children.
5. I blog at Spot On, among other places.

Open Mic Night: j0sh

I'm not ashamed to admit, though I should be... 1. i love pro-wrestling. I have my availability for work set up so i am off monday and thursday nights to watch it. 2. i actually own Vanilla Ice's 'Born to Swallow' album. yes, he tried a rap/rock comeback. it's not entirely horrible either, i've been known to drive through the suburbs blasting it. 3. i've been to Ozzfest four times, i've only seen Ozzy perform once. it was rather sad and somewhat pathetic to watch, so i left. 4. i hate Anne Rice. Not as in i hate the person, she's probably really nice or something, but I really dislike her writing. whenever anyone finds out i like vampire novels they ask if i've read her and i slap them about the head for a few minutes. 5. i almost never finish something i start. i have six stories that i've started writing and then forgotten about. the closest i've come to finishing anything is the Seven-Five Project. it's a work of serial fiction, more or less.

Open Mic Night Guest: Rae

1. I eat dessert first whenever possible. 2. I have an, ummm, obsession with flossing my teeth. I do it several times a day, and sometimes while driving (I live on the wild side). 3. (Excuse me while I just slip my arm into my flame proof suit here...o.k. done)I can't stand Jennifer Aniston. 4. This seems like the perfect time to also confess that I also don't like Friends-the television show, that is. 5. I really love it in films when the man touches the woman's face as he kisses her; actually, almost anytime a man touches a woman's face in communicating need or desire. That's my story and I guess I'm sticking to it (with rosy cheeks and all).

Open Mic Night Guest: Gilly

The five things you never knew about me: 1) I have my own blog. Yeah, I bet you didn't know that. I have about 3 people visit my blog per day, and 2 of them are my friends who give me pity clicks. Who knew Michele would give me to opportunity to alientate the only fan I have left... 2) For all my intricate knowledge of currency speculation and my near prescient understanding of financial markets, I still am making minimum wage in a retail. 3) I was the first person in my new school to watch The Simpsons when it was on Tracy Ulman. In fact, I was the only person who was excited about the series premier on Fox. When everyone else started watching the show, it made me about 2% cooler for being the guy who knew about the show first. A 2% that was quickly erased when I was the first person to wear an “I’m Bartman” t-shirt. 4) I lived in South America for 9 months. And the first food I ate when I landed back in New York City was Taco Bell. There was only 1 Taco Bell in all of South America that I encountered (I didn’t eat there). It’s in Peru. And to own a plastic cup from Taco Bell is a sign of prosperity. People will keep them for weeks just to be seen with them. 5) When I was a kid I didn’t watch t.v. shows, I watched commercials. 30-second bits of goodness. To this day, I can watch any commercial and tell you its strongest and weakest points and what should have been changed to make it more effective. I like to think of it as putting my ADHD to work for the good of humanity.

May 05, 2000

Open Mic Night Guest: Dave in Texas

1. I was sorely, sorely tempted to type insert your name here but I thought it through and decided, nah. 2. I really enjoy reading what you all write here. 3. My eldest graduates from high school in 2 weeks. In less than 3 months, she goes to UT Austin. I am, conflicted about this (dad stuff mostly, although since I was thrown out of Baylor I do have some school conflict too. I resolve these feelings by comparing BU tuition to UT. 4. I feel better now. 5. If I could give Michele a hug over moving and buying a house, and dealing with a teenage daughter, without getting into trouble or being misunderstood, I would. 6. Did I mention you guys are great?

Open Mic Night

[This post will stay at top for the remainder of the evening] Tonight is open mic night at ASV. Please see details here.

Open Mic Night Guest: Auterrific

Everyone seems to be naming five, even though it says no more than five. I'm just going to give you one. I LOVE my 20-month-old's piggies (toes). I have never had a foot fetish in my life. In fact, that is one of the least desirable places I can think of on an adult body. But my son's tiny feet...I was drawn to them like adult film stars to unions. I like their look. I like their feel. I even like their smell. I kiss them whenever possible. Auterrific Oh, OK...one more. The first concert I attended was to see Sean Cassidy...and I loved it!

Open Mic Night Guest: Lisa

I'm not ashamed to admit, though I should be..
  1. I just logged into Michele's blog with the username 'meatwad'.
  2. Why did I log in with the user name 'meatwad'?  To shamelessly plug my sites here, here and here.  meatwad?
  3. I've shamelessly blogged about a fat, disgusting opportunist freakshow who shall forever be referred to as meatwad.
  4. I watch those stupid "Behind The Music" specials on VH-1.
  5. Neil Cavuto turns me on.  Don't ask me why!

Open Mic Night Guest: Og

Five things that are just On My Mind that I'm mildly ashamed of. 1:It is important to know some phrases in a foreign language. 2: My most useful foreign phrase is "Yo tengo un gato in los pantalones" 3: Hi, Opal! 4: I believe people who drive Volkswagons are probably communists. No, not really, but it's fun. 5: Michelle rocks, and I'm not above shameless grovelling to get noticed. At all.

Open Mic Night Guest: Trainer

Hummm...five things I'm not ashamed of that I should be.... 1. Tank Girl is my favorite movie (drives my wife nuts), I even have the CD. 2. I still read my old issues of ZAP, Furry Freak Brothers, Young Lust, Deviant Slice, and Moondog comics...forty years after I bought them. 3. I actually do have clothes in my closet that let me hide from prey (see retrosexual). 4. If there was a fire in the house...my wife would save the pictures, and I would save my guns. 5. I find underwear very confining.

Open Mic Night: Bill Kelly

Five Things that I believe, but would feel ashamed of if I told Michele in person: (1) If I have a daughter, and my wife names her Michele, I will demand that it be spelled with two L's. (2) When I was 20, I voted for Gore. When I am 24, I will vote for Kerry. If it was legal, I would have voted for Clinton when I was 16. (3) I think it is a tad hypocritical that Michele ripped on Rall and Micah for the ridiculous things they said, but failed to equally abhor (stealing Bushes words) this comment from Limbaugh in regards to the ill-treatment of Iraqi prisoners:
Rush: Exactly. Exactly my point! This is no different than what happens at the skull and bones initiation and we're going to ruin people's lives over it and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You of heard of need to blow some steam off?
More? From the same paragraph:
Now, I'm not suggesting that it's common, normal in disciplined military structures for people to lose control. I'm suggesting that it might be understandable.
(4) I first saw the above quote on Wonkette. (5) I hate the Yankees [update] Changed the "Five Reasons" title

Open Mic Night Guest: Lesley

So, name five things I'm not ashamed of that I should be. 1. I like ABBA. No, scratch that. I love ABBA. I could dance all night to ABBA. In fact, I think I have. 2. Even worse than ABBA - I love Neil Diamond. "You've got the way to move me, Cherry!" This is actually the subplot of some really bad movie I once saw whose name escapes me now. The guy loved Neil Diamond. I'm like that guy. Well, except I wouldn't actually go see Neil Diamond in concert. 3. I am a Dark Shadows fanatic! I belong to the Dark Shadows DVD Club. I have a Barnabas bobblehead doll and a Quentin as the werewolf bobblehead doll. In the original Dark Shadows series, I must confess I was not all about Barnabas. I was all about David Selby as Quentin. Mmmmm, Quentin. Mmmmm, David Selby. He's old enough to be my father, but he's still hot. I used to watch Falcon Crest just to see David Selby. But in the second Dark Shadow series, with Ben Cross as Barnabas, boy was I all about Barnabas. That Barnabas can come here and bite me any time. 4. I didn't learn the last name of the first guy I ever slept with until the next morning. Stan Conway. Stan had him a mohawk. A white blonde mohawk (his natural hair color). And the most beautiful cornflower blue eyes I've ever seen. I met him at a Circle Jerks concert during my college days. 5. I've never seen "The Godfather". I know, I know. But I haven't. My former boss always tells me I'm not a real American, because I don't own a car and have never seen "The Godfather". I plan to buy a car later this year. You think that'll that make me half a real American? Wheeeee! Lesley

Open Mic Night Guest: Scott

1. I have seen every episode of Saved by the Bell (and all the TV specials) at least twice 2. In college, my roommates and I were so totally addicted to Days of Our Lives that we missed an entire Fire Drill and had to be escorted out by the firemen (but was it really Marlena being held hostage by Scorpio?) 3. No matter how fancy the restaurant, or how fine the steak, I always order French Fries, instead of the baked potato. 4. My very understanding wife let us have Batman and Catwoman action figures on top of our wedding cake instead of the traditional topper. 5. When I was a kid, I found Scooby-Doo very scary. I would watch the first five minutes to see the set up, then watch the last five minutes so I would know who did it. Blog: Polite Dissent

Open Mic Night Guest: Dr. Kate

I hesitate to say I'm ashamed of any of these things, but they're good for a laugh or two. (And if not, we have a link to funny semi-naked condom ads over at the blog!) 1. My first album was a double LP: Barry Manilow Live!. 2. I used to be a competitive synchronized swimmer. (Shut up.) 3. Peter Buck once poured beer on my shoes at the Georgia Theatre. He didn't mean to. He was drunk and talking to my hairdresser. 4. Huge crushes on Snape and Morpheus. But not Robert Smith Of The Cure. 5. I love reading the most ridiculous fanfic I can find, like Legolas/Gimli slash.


Being both a compulsive listmaker and one of the world's designated shame sinks, I cannot resist my chance to make five shameless shameful confessions. 1. I was once chased down the streets of my hometown by an angry chicken. 2. The first two albums I ever purchased were Barry Manilow's Even Now (hey to Zombyboy!) and Queen's News of the World. I was in my late twenties before I realized that this might lead people to make certain assumptions about me. 3. Given the choice between eggs benedict and cold, leftover fried rice for breakfast, I'll take the rice 10 times out of 9. And I like eggs benedict. 4. I turned down a four-year full-ride college scholarship because I didn't like the smell of the city where the college was located. Despite this, I still believe myself to be reasonably intelligent. 5. I am a Cincinnati Bengals fan, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Come visit me at The Bemusement Park.

Open Mic Night Guest: Steve of Norway

- Is it wrong to hope for bad things to happen to people I don't know? Just like the Chicago Cubs in 2003, the Steeds of Vengeance will ride into Fenway Park in 2004 and deny the BoSox another World Series chance. - Is it wrong to admit Def Leppard's Hysteria was my first CD? - Not to get agricultural here, but women with meat on their bones are extremely sexy. No stick figures please. That's not shameful. - When exactly did mayonnaise become the Caucasoid condiment choice of Johnny White Bread? I can't enjoy hot sauce or salsa as well Hollywood? - And I obey all posted speed limits while driving my SUV. Yeah, that's right, I drive an SUV. I enjoy polluting the atmosphere and I LOVE paying $32 every time I fill up for gas. Why? Because I can... Steve of Norway...just part of the group there and no, I'm not from the country.

Open Mic Night Guest: SondraK

Queer as Folk is my favorite show of all time. (even more than Twin Peaks) If I were a gay man, I'd be Brian Kinney. He's Ayn Rand in drag... For now I just lust after him. Obcessively. Now I'm gonna cry... My favorite jet in my hot tub is called "Old Faithful". It's named that in the owners manual. The writer knew what she was talking about. I am hopelessly in love with Sherilyn Fenn. I love Peter Gabriel...he's G*d. Truly. I've been kissed by more than one girl. eek!

Open Mic Night Guest: Andy

pass the tylenol
i was 17 when i discovered that midol wasn't a headache pill preferred by girls. thankfully my girlfriend saved me from continued embarrassment when she whispered it's real use into my ear at the dinner table.

Open Mic Night Guest: Kathy

I only get to list five things? 1. Moveable Type scares the hell out of me, which is why I've kept my shitty looking blog instead of upgrading. 2. When I was seventeen, my friends thought I was obsessive about Depeche Mode and The Cure, but in my walkman you would invariably find this guy's tape 3. I thought 'Fargo' was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Really. It sucked. 4. I hate 'Seinfeld' for one reason: George Costanza. His adventures are supposed to be funny? 5. If he asked, I would have The Edge's babies. (Yes. I know he's married. If he wanted more kids, I'm the girl for him.)

Open Mic Night Guest: Chris O'Donnell

1. I watched the movie Cocktail this week, and I've seen it at least 20 times. 2. I still have a crush on Debbie Gibson 3. I hate Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein. 4. I forgot a girlfriend's last name in college after we had been dating for a couple of weeks. She dumped me the next day. 5. The #1 search term that leads people to my web site is "Chris ODonnell naked."

Open Mic Night Guest: Tom Bridge

Okay, five things I'm not so ashamed of being ashamed of. Wait. Five things I'm ashamed of being not so ashamed of? Hmmm. Nope. Five things I'm not so... Okay. Stop. Five things that I did that were funny, and poignant, and I probably should be ashamed of, but for some reason I'm posting here for fun and possibly profit. 1. Once upon a time, when I was in college, I participated in Naked Radio. Yes, even though I have the body for radio. 2. Yes I've worn pantyhose. I was a swimmer in high school and between shaves (Sheesh, will you STOP laughing? I was Good! Well, I didn't suck, let's be fair.) to increase drag in between tapers. 3. I live and die with the record of the Oakland Athletics. Fortunately, I keep a defibrillator on hand during the Playoffs. It's come in handy the last four seasons. I hope I don't need it again, although, the hospital said the fifth time is on them, some sort of frequent customer discount. 4. This one time, at band camp..? 5. I made my brother and his girlfriend drive BACK to Arco Arena after they'd checked me into the hospital with a compound, dislocated left pinky. That means the bone was through the skin. But dude, it was a killer concert and I wasn't gonna make THEM pay for the crowd surge. C'mon, it was Save Ferris! Alrighty, I feel a little better now, the catharsis was good for me. In the meantime, check out Adventures in Troubleshooting, or, perhaps, my Good blog, The Four Corners.

Open Mic Night Guest: Keith

Here's a reprint of a posting I just made to my blog, Susskins Central Dispatch. Serendipity Or where a series of unrelated decisions leads to joy Fred called me up early in the afternoon and asked if he could pick me up after work and take me to dinner. I said yes, because few things are finer than being chauffeured by my honeybear. At 4:30 he was waiting outside my building. I threw my bag in the back and climbed in. We zoomed off. I suggested that he go left, to avoid the traffic. He went left. I suggested that we go up University Avenue rather than the freeway. I also suggested that we take the third avenue bridge across the Mississippi, rather than the Hennepin bridge. Due to a huge number of buses in the right lane, we scooted past third avenue. I said, "fuck it; just go on to Hennepin." He disagreed, and doubled back to third. We crossed the river, and got to the turnoff for University. I said, "where does that go?", and pointed straight ahead. He said, "let's find out", and went straight instead of turning. We went through NordEast, the North-East section of Minneapolis and continued up to Columbia Heights. (note: the term "NordEast" is a play on Minnesota accents.) We went by The Heights Theater, a small theater that holds the claim to the longest continually running theater in the Twin Cities. It was purchased by a pair of guys in 1998, and has been undergoing a serious restoration since then. I've wanted to see a movie there for some time. The marquee showed that The Triplets of Belleville was playing. Fred had been dying to see it, and I'de been extremely interested too. We made an abrupt U-turn and I ran up to the box office to check the times. It started in twenty minutes. Fred parked the truck, I went in and bought tickets, we got popcorn and drinks, and went in. The theater is a marvel of old Beau Arts style, complete with a massive organ and an orchestra pit. (The organ is played Friday and Saturday nights before the 7:00 showing.) The Men's room has old movie posters. You can take a steaming dump under the watchful gaze of The Duke. I opted to pee in front of Gregory Peck. The movie started with a single trailer, a policy reel, and headlong into the feature. Oh, and the curtain was drawn, which is something I just love to see. The print was immaculate and smooth as glass. The sound was excellent. The theater was empty. Okay, actually there were four of us total, plus the guy running the theater. (I think he was one of the owners.) If you get the chance to see The Triplets of Belleville, take it. It's a very odd piece of animation. Gorgeous hand-drawn animation, with some nice computer assists for backgrounds and vehicles. Weird characters. A big fat dog that hates trains. Three singing sisters that are off their group rocker. Frogs. Explosives. The Tour de France. Wine. Dark deeds. Music. Almost no dialog. Most everything is broadcast via body language and grunts and groans and sighs. It's a quirky little film, and we got to see it in a theater. Hurray for lucky chances and being in the right place at the right time! The phrase "In Vino Veritas" shows up in the movie. For us, it was "dans la joie de serendipity". Or something like that.


What is it with you people and Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? That is the Worst. Song. EVER!

Open Mic Night Guest: JimK

Music: I should be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not: I like the Little River Band. Have since I was a kid. Bite me. I use Rammstein to fall asleep, don't be doubtin' my cred. Books: I hate "literature." I read it, but I prefer crappy sci-fi. I *heart* Star Wars and Star Trek novels. Movies: I have a not-so-secret obsession with Rose McGowan films. Horrible actress, can't get enough of her. I even watch "Charmed." Art: I hate landscapes, even though it's all I have the talent to paint. JimK, Right Thoughts

Open Mic Night Guest: Dorkafork

1. I've seen only part of one episode of "Buffy", ever. 2. I've read the first Harry Potter book and seen the first Potter movie and liked neither. Didn't particularly care for Kill Bill, Vol. 1, either. 3. I read somewhere that "24" is a soap opera for men. I agree. I still watch it. Except I haven't been watching the third season. Just pick something in there for me to be ashamed of. And I am ashamed of: 4. My comments on other people's blogs. 5. My blog.

Open Mic Night Guest: Nick Favorito

I’m not ashamed to admit….. 1) That I know the complete lyrics to “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. In fact, while discussing the boundaries of consent this morning in my Feminist Legal Theory class, I was shocked to discover that my professor had never heard “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. “Haven’t you ever been to a wedding?” I asked her. I have since deduced through advanced mathematics that this woman was, in all honestly, alive in the 1970s and really ought to be familiar with this song. She's getting a CD on Friday. 2) That I’m really not too worried as a Red Sox fan this season. Although it appears that our pitching is first rate, our season may depend upon the health of Nomar Garciaparra’s foot and Trot Nixon’s newly remembered chronic back troubles. Without those players in our lineup the Sox have recently dropped five games in a row to the absolute dregs in the league. These players have given no indication that they’ll be back into playing shape before the middle of June, nor upon their return can Red Sox fans rest assured that these players won’t aggravate what are known as nagging injuries. So why aren’t I worried? I figure by the time the Red Sox really hit their summer swoon the Dems will be in town and the FBI will have shut down the Zachem, leaving the Green Monster as the tallest thing around for the Townies to jump-off of. Do you know how much those seats cost? Any ticket purchased for those seats ought to come with a seat cushion to land on below. 3) I once thought Steve McQueen was the lead singer of the band Queen. 4) There is no better reason to attend a wedding than singing along with “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. 5) That I would have left Pedro in too. For further enjoyment browse Duck Season or Begging to Differ. I need to resume my studies of Basler’s Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln.

Open Mic Night Guest: Jimmy

There isn't much I'm ashamed of, which is odd considering I was raised Fundamental Baptist. You'd assume that my Blog would be called the Suburban Shame Shack. But it's not and I'm shameless! So here are some things everyone else is ashamed of in me. 1) One of my favorite movies is "Howard the Duck". We're talking Top Five material here. I'm waiting on a Director's Cut, 2-DVD Bonus Features Edition. The day George Lucas finally answers my 35,762 e-mails and lifts the restraining order, I'll be there ready to buy. 2) One of my other favorite movies is "Grease". I quote lines. I sing. I dance the hand Jive. I'll watch that movie any time it's on. 3) I just don't get reality shows anymore. I loved the first "The Real World" but beyond that, I can't say that I've watched an episode of any of them. I don't understand the appeal and when someone explains it to me it's like they're speaking Klingon. Well, that's not true. I have a chance of understanding Klingon. 4) I once had my hair so long it hung below my shoulder blades. It was a phase. I wanted to see what it looked like. The answer: Fat, long-haired guy. That phase lasted six months and there's no way it'l l happen again. Not even if Rebecca Romijn asks. 5) I own all but one album Debbie (oh, sorry. Deborah) Gibson made. I still sing along to "Electric Youth". That was good pop songwriting, folks. Well there you have it - my shame. If you can still look me in the eyes, come and visit my blog and bring a friend!

Open Mic Night Guest: Jim Peacock

I thought up a fifth one to complete my set then I started a post and forgot what the fifth one was so I deleted that post and as soon as I deleted it I remembered it again. I think I'm the youngest recorded Alzheimer's sufferer. No, Ilyka, I'm not drunk. :-P Anyway, number five is Sarah McLachlan. She's my favorite vocalist and I'm going to see her in concert here in Atlanta in a couple months. The tickets cost more than Aerosmith did. I didn't see Aerosmith because the tickets cost too much. I will be one of five males in the audience and the other four will be chained to women. I had to go out of my household to find a woman to take to the concert because Lovely Wife wouldn't go (Sarah's too "girly" for her). Y'all shut your pie holes. I remain secure in my masculinity. I'm off to stroke my mangina now.

Open Mic Night Guest: Crank

Shame, shame, shame: 1. When Sleepless in Seattle came out, I went to see it in the theater. Alone. 2. I actually like the song "Age of Aquarius." But I turn down the volume when it comes on the mix tape I put it on if anyone's around. 3. My hatred of the Yankees, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens has long since passed the point of reason. 4. I have not seen an entire NBA game in a few years, but I still write about basketball stats. And let's not get into the last time I watched college sports or saw more than half of a non-Super Bowl NFL game. 5. With the exception of a honeymoon in Ireland and a few trips to Chicago and Minnesota, I've never left the portion of the U.S. covered by the Eastern Time Zone. Baseball Crank

Open Mic Night Guest: Jay

Ok here it goes: 1. As a Yankees fan, one would think that my hatred for the Boston Red Sox rises above all others. Wrong. I rooted for the Red Sox in 1986 when they played the only other team I hate more: The New York Mets. 2. Under The Tuscan Sun is a textbook example of a major league 'chick flick.' Yet, I watched it......and liked it. I kept thinking that maybe it was because I would just have this image of Diane Lane being bent over outside her lovers apartment in 'Unfaithful', but no. I did actually like the movie. 3. Since it has been on television, I have never watched a single episode of 'The Simpsons.' Not one. No reason really. I just never had the desire to see it. 4. Marc says below that he gets "all sniffy" at the end of 'Field of Dreams.' Me? I start welling up like a 2 year old baby. 'Field of Dreams' is probably the closest thing to the male equivalent of a 'chick flick' one would find. 5. I am a New York/New Jersey native that has become a huge NASCAR fan since moving to Florida. I even own a Jeff Gordon 'Dupont' hat. Jay Caruso

Open Mic Night Guest: Mitch Berg

Things I probably should not admit: -- I love blind dates. Going to a blind date is like walking down the stairs on Christmas morning when you're a kid; you know the odds are you'll get more underwear than cool toys, but it's still fun wondering what's in the package. I don't always like how they end, but the run-up to a blind date is one of life's great pleasures. -- I love "Blind Date", the TV show. -- I thought Marisa Tomei deserved the Oscar. -- I just taught myself "Comfortably Numb" on the bagpipes. -- I also once "serenaded" a woman I was (briefly) dating on the pipes. -- Not only did I, too, love the Bangles - I got backstage passes to one of their gigs, and hit shamelessly on Vicki. Or Lori. Maybe both. -- My old band did country versions of "Erotic City" and "Anarchy in the UK" and a lounge-jazz version of "Bastards of Young" -- I have had at least one date with 76 different women in the last four years. No, 77. -- Although I am a really good rock'nroll guitar player, I taught myself to play off a John Denver record. That should be way too much enough for now.

It's my blog and I'll confess if I want to

Ok, I'm going with a list now. You have all made me feel so comfortable outing myself. * I love the movie Legend of Billie Jean, too! * I miss the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (original version). I had a huge crush on Tommy (White Ranger mode) and I thought Bulk and Skull were funny. I thought the villians were fantastic. * I think The Stuff and Toxic Avenger are quality movies. * Not only have I never seen Titanic, but I've never seen Gone With the Wind, either. * Insert something about Natalie Portman here. * My thing for Seth Green has gone beyond the crush stage. It's not like I even want to marry the guy. I just want to own him. * I hated Chasing Amy. Ok? Happy now? The whole plot, the dialogue, the ending - My Kevin Smith collection stops at Mallrats. * I am the world's worst housekeeper.

Open Mic Night Guest: Chuck Simmins

1) Andrea Harris thinks I'm a lesbian 2) I'm scared of heights 3) I liked Willow the Leather Vamp better than any other character. Way, way better. 4) I have a fixation with Paris Hilton 5) I've been to Canada, sober. It really does exist. You Big Mouth, You!

Open Mic Night Guest: Meryl Yourish

1. I succumbed to peer pressure, once, in eighth grade. I tried to get Shari Rubinstein to fight because she had been driving me crazy for weeks. She kept stealing my hat one day, and I said, "If you do that one more time, I'm going to beat the crap out of you after school." She did. Everyone who heard it talked it up on the bus and gathered around once the bus drove off. And that is all I care to recall here about that incident. I have never bowed to peer pressure since, and Shari, I apologize. 2. My first album was Abbey Road. My second album was (sigh) the Archies. 3. I have deliberately thrown games to men so as not to hurt their egos. And I've lied convincingly about it when confronted with, "Did you throw that last shot deliberately?" 4. The two men whom I dated the longest and who meant the most to me both died young of heart attacks--the same year. I had nothing to do with their deaths. 5. I like to fight. I suppose I should be ashamed of it, but I'm not. And no one in the blogosphere has ever seen me unleashed. No, I'm not kidding. You've only seen Meryl Lite to date.

Open Mic Night Guest: Marc

Hmmm. Where to start?

1. I haven't seen any of the Godfather films. I've never had any desire to do so. But I have seen Titanic 3 times. I don't know which is worse.

2. I can recite, from memory, all of the lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby." And I do. For total strangers.

3. I actually like bagels with mustard for breakfast. The more mustard, the better. This is no lie.

4. The end of Field of Dreams always makes me get all sniffly.

5. I'm doing this instead of helping my very pregnant wife get ready for bed.

The Homebase

Open Mic Night Guest: That Met Fan Guy

After Michele tried to "out" me this afternoon, I thought I'd take this opportunity to get some of the real skeletons out of my closet. I'm not ashamed to admit, though I should be... (Sports) That in 1982 when the Mets traded Lee Mazzilli my dad sat my mom, younger brother, and I down at the kitchen table and gently broke the news to us. I'm not sure if my dad cried but the rest of weeped like grandma died. (Music) Everyone in my office knows to quiet down when "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey comes on the Muzak. (Movies) I firmly believe that The Legend of Billie Jean is a masterpiece. Fair is Fair! Fair is Fair! Fair is Fair! (TV) Me and my buddies would watch My So Called Life religiously in college. (And I watched it again when MTV aired the full series.) Well, that's all your going to get out of me tonight. I've got "things to do" with a certain colossal-headed friend of mine. On the odd chance that any of the above is at all interesting, drop by Fine? Why Fine? Thanks, Michele.

Open Mic Night Guest: Phil Dennison

"Shame? " What is this "shame" of which you speak? Your moral concepts are frightening and confusing! You see, I may just be a simple unfrozen caveman, but I: 1. Totally dig Olivia Newton-John. Everything from "Please Mr. Please" to "Xanadu" to "Twist of Fate." I don't even classify her as a guilty pleasure, 'cuz I don't feel the least bit guilty. 2. I think Tom Cruise is one of the best actors of the last twenty years, and I think he gets a really bad rap from people who should know better. I think he'll be remembered by future movie watchers like we remember solid actors like John Garfield today. 3. I had a mullet in high school. A great, big puffy mullet that resulted from trying to get Duran Duran hair. 4. I have never, ever seen a single episode of "Beverly Hills 90210" or "Melrose Place." 5. I think "A Confederacy Of Dunces" is the most overrated piece of literary garbage ever foisted on the American public. -- Phil

Open Mic Night Guest: Allah

1. I didn't see "Titanic" and I'm probably never gonna. 2. I find Chris Muir's "Sam" character more than a little attractive. 3. I've thought seriously about quitting my blog every day for, oh, the past seven months or so. 4. My fondest childhood memory is of the ball rolling through Buckner's legs. 5. I know what a "dutch oven" is. But not from personal experience. In the house.

Open Mic Night Guest: JFH

1. I've taken off all my clothes (okay, I left on my underwear) at the North Pole. 2. I've been late to work, multiple times, because I needed to see how a Power Rangers episode ended (and claimed it was quality time with my 5 year-old son) 3. Even, if the costs were the same, I'd pick a Carnival Cruise over a cruise on the Queen Mary II. 4. I'm still very scared of clowns and ventriloquist dummies.. Thank God for the Internet to let me know I'm not alone. 5. I have NEVER found Lucille Ball the slightest bit funny. (Along with a bunch of other old comics we're supposed to revere 'cus they were the inspiration to the REAL funny people of today.)

Open Mic Night guest: Farmer Joe

Things I should be ashamed of: 1. I like The Bangles. Really. I don't care that they're supremely cheese pop. 2. I have never read a Harry Potter book, or seen a Harry Potter movie, nor do I intend to. Actually, I don't see the shame in this, but everybody else acts like I should. 3. I absolutely love dating shows. My favorite is EX-Treme Dating, but I also like Blind Date, The Fifth Wheel, and Elimidate. 4. I also like pro wrestling. That's all I can think of right now. The Urban Farmhouse

Open Mic Night Guest: Mike

Things I am ashamed of: 1. I have a weblog. I have not done anything with it. 2. I bought a copy of this. I don't own a copy of this. 3. I like Journey. A lot. I want to play guitar like Neil Schon someday. 4. I don't have any tattoos. 5. I loved (heh) Love Actually.

A Small Shame: My Own Confessions

It's my site so I can make my own rules. I'm going to do one at a time. A while ago, I posted about the ridiculous coffee set-up at 7-11. bq. Do you want coffee or a three course dessert? Take the god damn coffee cup. Pour coffee. Pour milk. Put cover on. Leave. Why do you want to mix your coffee with all that crap? It’s 8am, people! Who the hell wants whipped cream and chocolate sauce at 8am? Coffee is not supposed to taste like it was made in a bakery. And if you want flavored coffee (ok, admittedly, I do go for those caramel frappucinos) then go to Starbucks, where people expect you to spend ten minutes pondering your choices while the snarly cashier taps her fingers on the counter waiting for you. It’s part of the ambience! At 7-11, you’re just crowding the aisles while I’m trying to get my regular coffee and a pack of gum. And now, my shame. I've been going to 7-11 every morning. I grab a cup - a 25 oz cup no less - and I always intend to just have straight coffee. But something happens. I look at all those flavors, all those creams and all those syrups. I give in. Every day. Today it was hot chocolate. Well, about 1/2 cup hot choclate. And then a bit of steamed milk. A few drops of blueberry creme coffee. A squirt of caramel syrup. Oh, what the hell. A dash of vanilla flavoring, too. By the time noon rolled around, I had four new cavities and six extra pounds. But it was so damn good. I'm already thinking about tomorrow. Perhaps the raspberry coffee with steamed milk and hazelnut syrup, then just a slight shake of the chocolate powder. I used to be a coffee purist. I am so ashamed.

Open Mic Night Guest: Ilyka

Five things that should be sources of deep, abiding shame for myself, yet aren't: 1. When a best-friendship turned sour on me in high school, another friend and I toilet-papered the girl's house and I mean, thoroughly, ending with the throwing of eggs at the door and a frantic dash home. The next day I called her up and complained my own house had been TP'd, so she'd think some other girls who hated us did it instead (she bought it). My only defense here is the usual high school era one: She started it. 2. I love musicals. I even like this one, and it features Clint Eastwood singing. He sings about as well as you'd expect Dirty Harry to sing. 3. I found out, ah, all about, uh, er, my anatomy, by reading Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). Let's just say there were things I didn't know I had until I read the parts list. 4. I've confessed this on my own blog before, I think, but my favorite movie is Urban Cowboy. Hey, shut up. 5. This behavior isn't usual for me at all, but on my last birthday I began the evening by downing the better part of a fifth of Goldschlager. My date then took me to my favorite restaurant, where I promptly fell down in the lobby. He hauled me back up and, once seated, I announced I could not read the menu as "there's two of everything," and demanded my date pick me out an entree. Immediately upon his placing our order, I told him I couldn't wait for the food "any longer" and requested the car keys. My date led me to the car, wisely retaining the keys, and returned from the awkward "Ah, could we get all this to go, actually?" conversation with the waitress to find me desperately trying to start the car with an imaginary set of keys. I'm not ashamed this happened, but I am slightly ashamed to know that most folks get this kind of drunken idiocy out of their systems at 21 or 22, whereas I waited to do it until my 34th birthday. I always was a late bloomer.

Open Mic Night Guest: World Wide R-Andy

A pointless aside, but I was just watching the Denver 9 News and I swear their "back from the break" music has some saucy, heavy breathing mixed in. I never knew the news could be so exciting. Somebody slap my ass before I slap it myself, 'cause you know that's how I like it, sugar. Errr... anyway, speaking of saucy, heavy breathing (and things of which I am not ashamed but probably should be, per the directions of our blog mistress this eve):
  1. I'd do Britney Spears. Honestly, I would. Well, ok, only if the wife would let me and only if she (Britney, not the wife) passed all sorts of "certified disease-free" tests. This is quite possibly the only thing I have in common with Oliver Willis, thank the sweet Lord Jesus. Next I'll find out that Atrios and I both...
  2. ...once liked a Linkin Park song. Shut the hell up. I got better. I've no idea about Atrios though.
  3. Finally, long ago, I watched Top Gun so many times that I could virtually speak the script in time with the actors. I still can. A high school friend and I even wrote the screenplay for a really bad spoof of it, all based around the Montgomery, Alabama Department of Motor Vehicles, but that never got off the ground. This, of course, was way back in the late 80s, and not, say, last week. Honestly. Shut the hell up. None of this had anything to do with Tom Cruise, and everything to do with F-14 Tomcats and things going "boom!"
If you've enjoyed this confessional, you can find more of the same, more of the different, and more of the sort-of-similar-in-a-way-that-I-can't-quite-put-into-words-but-man-he's-turning-me-on over at The World Wide Rant. Thank you, amen, god bless, and see ya for now.

Open Mic Night Guest: Jim Peacock

(Michele, that was so totally unfair to pre-empt my putting "(insert your name here)" in the title. Totally. Un. Fair. I'm not ashamed to admit, though I should be... I liked, still like and shall continue to like the Alan Parsons Project. There are others like me out there. Come on, y'all - fess up! Yes, I am the eye in the sky and I am looking at you. I watch 7th Heaven. Every week. Sometimes even when it's a repeat. Just five more years and I'll be allowed to fantasize about Ruthie. I count the days. One of my favorite movies of all time is Grease. I sing along. I sing along to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights too. That's enough for now. Got to keep some things back for the psychiatrists to drag out or they get all bitchy. _____________________ Snooze Button Dreams

My Secret Shame: Open Mic Night Guest: Zomb(ie)boy

  1. I watch American Idol. Obsessively. I'm ashamed.
  2. The first album I ever bought was Barry Manilow Live. I'm sorry.
  3. I have a Prince Albert. I'm not so sorry about that. Actually, I think it's pretty cool--once I got past all the bleeding and stuff.
  4. I cried when Goose died in Top Gun. I feel so un-manly.
  5. I sort of think Ayn Rand was a complete nutter. In the circles I run in, that could probably be considered a deadly insult.
This list of shame brought to you by the letter Z.

Open Mic Night Guest: Daria

God, there are so many things I probably should be ashamed to admit... but I really am not afraid to admit anything I've told at least one person. So here we go: 1. My favorite musical artist is Deborah Gibson. And I've met her eight times. 2. I cried when Clay Aiken lost American Idol last season. And I was 24. 3. My first celebrity crush? Alfalfa from The Little Rascals. (I was four or something. Shut up!) 4. I hate yellow American cheese, mainly because of its color. This makes no sense, as I can deal with cheddar. 5. I spent four years earning a degree in communications, and I doubt I'll ever use it. -Daria

Open Mic Night! Share Your Shame

I got this idea from Sheila: I'm not ashamed to admit, though I should be... Read Sheila's post and the comments and links for some idea of what I'm going for here. I'll add mine, soon. Username: meatwad pw: frylock URL Rules: * Each title must contain the words: Open Mic Night Guest: (instert your name here). The first person to literally write (insert your name here) gets kicked in the ass. * List no more than five things. Don't be a space hog. * If you are not familiar with Moveable Type, please email your entry to me. Don't mess with things you do not understand. That's how websites disappear. * You should include a link back to your own blog if you have one. * You will be monitored by people. Yes, people. People with stun guns, who may be standing outside your window right now. So, no funny stuff. * You may post more than once if you really have nothing better to do. * Have fun with your moment of honesty. Really, I know what it's like to admit to liking Air Supply. Offer open until midnight, or whenever I decide to go to bed. Update: If you put your entry in a category, please use the open mic night category.

open mic night, perhaps?

So I'm thinking of having another open-mic tonight. But I won't do it without a specific subject. So think of one. You've got until we get back from the batting cages to come up with a subject that's enticing enough to make me want to open the gates and let you people in here. Have at it.